This is a blog post that I started writing several months ago but hadn’t finished yet.  I know that Mitch and I have been absent from our blog for several months now with moving but in light of our current world situation with the coronavirus impacting our whole world and so many experiencing worry and anxiety over what is happening or what may happen, I felt prompted by the Lord to finish and post this now.  By the way, we both love the new ministry God has placed us in here at The Lodge but we do still have a heart for marriage! We intend to continue posting here to pass along the things that the Lord has taught us. We just won’t be here as often now that Mitch is working full time and Kim part-time. 

Today I’d like to tell you about a book that has made a big impact on my life as a Christian, and therefore it has had a big impact on our marriage also.  You see whenever we grow in our walk with Christ and become more like Him our marriage will benefit. As I become more Christ-like I become easier to live with, more loving, more joyful, I have more peace (which spills over to those around me), more patient, kinder, gentler, more self-controlled, I’m more forgiving, and I’m less selfish.  Cultivating these characteristics should help to improve all of our relationships!

As a woman, it can be easy to live by my feelings unless I realize that my feelings are not always an accurate assessment of what is actually happening in my life.  Our emotions can be a very powerful force so we must use care to make sure that we understand where they are coming from and accurately discern how much trust we should place in them.  Depending upon what is going on in my life, I may react differently to a certain situation today than the way I reacted to the same situation several weeks or months ago (or maybe even just yesterday!).  God did make us as emotional beings but I don’t believe that He wants us to be ruled by our emotions.

I highly recommend reading Loving God With All Your Mind by Elizabeth George to make yourself aware of what God’s Word says and to cement His promises into your mind.  Once we truly understand how He created our minds to work optimally, how much God loves us, once we trust that His plans for us are for our good, not to harm us and that He is able to bring something good out of whatever situation we face, then we will be better prepared to face the unexpected circumstances that come our way.  For me personally, I had spent too much of my life living according to the way I felt rather than according to the promises that God gives us in His Word. I have so much more peace now that I focus on what the Bible says rather than worrying about all the “what if’s.” God’s Word is true and we can depend upon every word of it so when life seems uncertain this is where we need to turn for our peace of mind.

I would like to suggest that you consider studying this book with a friend.  There is a companion study guide that goes with the book. I started reading this book on my own and I felt like it made an impact but I think that I have done a better job of putting the things that I learned from it into practice in my everyday life after going through the study guide together with someone else.  A woman asked me to mentor her and we decided upon this book. Shortly after we began our study she moved to another state but we both liked what we were learning and wanted to continue so we finished the study by meeting on Facetime. I think there was great value in applying what we learned each week and sharing it with one another.  God didn’t put us here to do life alone! We need to be in relationship with others so that we can learn and grow from one another and hold each other accountable for what we are learning.

Elizabeth George does a great job of reinforcing the principles she is trying to get across.  You will spend four chapters studying each of the six Bible verses the book is centered on. I think that I got more out of it in a group study because by spending a week or two on each chapter it gave me more time to let it soak in and become a part of my everyday life rather than just reading straight through the book. 

The first section of the book concentrates on training our thoughts.  The scripture reference for this portion is Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.”  It is important for us to focus on what we know to be true about God, His Word, others, the past, the present, and the future.

One big thing I learned was that I was spending a lot of time worrying about things that likely won’t ever come to pass.  My time is much better spent concentrating on what I know to be true. This is something that is really good to put into practice in our marriages also.  When I start trying to guess what Mitch is thinking or assume that I know what he is thinking we are probably headed for trouble because I can’t read his mind and I am probably going to make a wrong assumption which will lead to me having a wrong reaction!  Our marriage will be much better off if I would just ask him what he’s thinking.  

The second section of the book covers winning over worry.  I think that we can all use help with this one! The scripture that she focuses on is Matthew 6:34   “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“ “Focusing on Today”, “Scaling the Mountain of Today”, “Living One Day at a Time” and “Living Out of God’s Grace” are the chapter titles for this section.  These are all things that we can do to help us win over worry.

Next, she takes a look at pressing for the prize.  Philippians 3:13,14 “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”  This was really good! Too often we get caught up in our past, focusing on ourselves and our failures, rather than accepting Christ’s forgiveness and allowing Him to work through us. Forget the past, press on in your spiritual growth and respond when he calls you to do something.  And keep doing it over and over again. Keep pressing forward in your work for Him. Never stop!

Counting On God’s Goodness comes next.  Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  In this section, the author leads us in learning to trust God. She reminds us that God is in control and that He has promised us to work in all things for our good.  All things – whether good or bad, big or small, even the difficult people in our life. All things.

Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” is the scripture focus for the section “Living Out God’s Plan.” Even though this is God’s plan for us that doesn’t mean that everything in our life will turn out the way we want it to.  All of us will face difficult times in our lives. How do we get through these times? We need to acknowledge that God’s hand is on our life. Whatever we’re going through didn’t surprise God. Our life is not out of control! Whatever circumstances we are in we need to keep fulfilling God’s purpose for our life and the best way to keep a positive mindset through our difficulties is by concentrating on God’s promises.  I am so thankful that God gave us His Word so that we can know Him better, learn how much He loves us and all the wonderful promises He has for us! I also appreciated her reminders that God wants us to bear fruit even in our difficulties (think of Joseph and Paul) and that through them we can become more like Jesus if we allow God to work.

And she ends with a study on accepting the unacceptable.  Romans 11:33 “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!” God’s ways are not our ways and our ways are not God’s ways.  We are not God so we aren’t always going to understand but we can seek to always trust. Think of the example of Mary, Jesus’ mother.  She was an unwed teen when the angel Gabriel came to her and told her that she would be the mother of the Son of God. And what was Mary’s response?  “I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.” (Luke 1:38) We can learn to trust God in the dark. We don’t have to understand everything.  Let go and let God be God.

The practical result of going through this study, for me, was seen when Mitch came home from work and told me that he was thinking about leaving his job.  Prior to this study, I would have been anxious and worried at the thought of such a major change in our lives but as a result of being nearly done with the study, I was able to say “Okay.  If this is what God has planned for us then He will take care of us.” I knew that this didn’t just come out of the blue. That God knew we would be facing this decision and that He would be with us whatever the outcome of our decision was.  We prayed about it and Mitch did end up leaving that job several months later. I am so thankful for all that I learned through the study of this book so I am better equipped to face whatever challenges may come my way. Check it out for yourself.  You’ll be glad you did!

Here’s a link to the book: Loving God With All Your Mind by Elizabeth George