Q & A What is the best way to support your spouse when they are going through a period of depression? Here are a few major statistics on depression. It is estimated that in the United States, 16.2 million people (6.7%) have at least one massive depression episode in a given year. Depression is a common illness worldwide, with more than 300 million people affected. It is different from usual...
At the core of every person’s thoughts are two very important aspects: self-understanding and self-worth. Every day we tell ourselves hundreds of things about ourselves that are untrue. This talk, called self-talk, is so much more important than we realize. What we tell ourselves about ourselves is paramount to who we are and will become. Here’s the litmus test for who will benefit from the book: if you are breathing,...
I once heard a man replying to a question about why his marriage didn’t last. He said, “We had a difference in theology. I thought I was God and she didn’t.” Our priorities set the guidelines for who we are and who we will be both in our marriage and in all of life. First John 2:15-17 lays out the three categories of sin. They are the lust of the...
Are You Life-Giving? What does it mean to be life-giving? Each of us has a need to be loved, cherished and appreciated. Let’s say that when we receive these things we store them up. Let’s call the reservoir these needs are stored in our love tank. Now we should understand that the love tank is always being drained by the things that happen in life. Maybe stress, work, long hours,...
How to Parent When Your Parenting Styles Differ I’ve always said that the culmination of the love between a husband and wife is having children… and nothing will pull your marriage apart more than a child. We give the best years of our lives to our children. They can take our time, our energy, and drain us of the stamina for intimacy. Kim and I are so glad we had...
We Don’t Share the Same Interests Q & A What attracted me to my wife in the first place was that she was different. As the saying goes, "opposites attract." After being married though, sometimes it is hard to relate and do things together because our interests aren't the same. What was new and fresh is now boring and dull. What would you tell couples who struggle with knowing what...
Why Doesn’t My Spouse Fulfill Me?... AKA How Can I Change My Spouse? When we had been married a few years, Kim noticed I had been grumpy for a few days. On the farm, we had these irrigation systems that were a pain to work with. I hated running them. At lunch one day, Kim told me that she had noticed how I was down and she wondered if that...
Why Your Attitude is Everything Have you ever noticed that some people just take things in stride better than others? Something goes wrong and there are a myriad of ways to handle the situation - how will you handle it? Friday, I met for lunch with a pastor friend at McAlister’s Deli. I took along the promotional tumbler that we had purchased there several years ago so we can get...
Let’s start with this fundamental understanding: to be married, one needs to be an adult. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to get married to a person who is childish. This may sound like a no brainer, but some fundamentals do get missed. If a child has been under the care of a parent all their life, it is quite possible that they don’t see themselves as an adult. Being an...
Children: What to Do When Your Parents Won’t Let Go Many of my counseling sessions over the years have been the result of (1) parents not releasing their children when the children get married or (2) children not releasing their parents when the children get married. We addressed the first and second issues in another blog post and I will address the third issue here: what to do when your...
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