I once heard a man replying to a question about why his marriage didn’t last.  He said, “We had a difference in theology. I thought I was God and she didn’t.”

     Our priorities set the guidelines for who we are and who we will be both in our marriage and in all of life.  First John 2:15-17 lays out the three categories of sin. They are the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.  Let’s take a look at what God says about our priorities and see how to flourish in life and in our marriage.

Lust of the flesh
     This involves seeking to satisfy our fleshly desires.  These desires can control our lives as they can cloud our judgment and destroy our value system.

Lust of the eyes
     Jesus talked about looking at a woman and lusting after her.  I think it’s fair to say that virtually all men struggle with this.  A good book to read about overcoming this temptation is Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn.  But the lust of the eyes isn’t limited to just being tempted sexually. We often look at other things with strong desire.  There are many material possessions that can tempt us. Houses, cars, and anything else that entices us to desire what someone else has can be considered lust of the eyes.

The pride of life
     Pride of life is the desire to be known by men.  It doesn’t stop there -it is also the desire to be praised by men.  It is God’s position to be praised by men. When we have the pride of life, we want to be like God and receive the praise of men.  This can even include the desire to be worshipped. Think about it. The way we flock to famous people is a tell-tale sign of this.  We want to be famous, and if we can’t be famous, we at least want to be a part of a famous person’s life.

     These are the three areas where Satan concentrates his attacks because this behavior will pull us away from God.  Take a look at Eve in the garden. The fruit was 1) beautiful to look upon, 2) pleasant to eat, and 3) would make her a god.

     Take a look at how Satan tempted Christ.  He tempted Him to make bread from stone and said that it would satisfy His hunger.  He then offered Him all the kingdoms of the world and the “glory of them.” But the pride of life didn’t tempt Jesus because He knew that God is the source of life, not the things that the world offers.

     Our media works hard at sending the message that if you are famous, skinny, rich, and good looking, you have arrived.  It may be a very temporal arrival, but at what destination? In fact, our media presses even farther in making us believe that we are incomplete if we aren’t worshipped by others.  They spotlight the marriages of well-known people even though these couples often have a track record of broken marriages.  Somehow the media believes what these couples have to say is important because they are famous.  At the dentist today, I read a magazine where a famous person was asked what the key was to their marriage.  They said it was that they see each other at least every two weeks. What is more amazing than the magazine printing that is that people even buy the magazine!  If we are alert, we don’t have to look far to see how often famous people fail miserably – either at the height of their fame or when their fame and fortune come to an end.  God wants us to look to His Word for direction on how to live our lives, not by comparing ourselves to others. He is the one who created us so He knows what is in our best interest.

It Starts With Us
     It isn’t a coincidence that Jesus compares us to sheep.  Sheep are foolish animals that follow each other. Without a shepherd, they are wandering and aimless creatures.  They have a serious lack of discretion. I have a friend from India who says in his region they have a saying, “The sheep will always run to the butcher.”  This means we are like foolish sheep and we will often run to the very thing that will destroy us. Our sin nature dictates us to do this if we allow it. Lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life will only leave us empty in the end.

How does this translate in a marriage?
     A good marriage is made up of two really good servants who have a willingness to serve one another.  Lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life are in direct conflict with this servant attitude.  Serving others sets our hearts in a place of harmony and contentment. Having your self-worth determined by who you are or having it determined by how much you love your God and serve your spouse are two totally different things.  The first leads to the insatiable desire for more and the second leads to peace and harmony in your soul and in your marriage.

     Here’s a summary of the teaching and the scripture.  Read it in the NIV (1st one) and then in the Message (2nd one) and take some time to examine where you are in this area of your life.  It is a good reminder to me of who I am called to be and I would think you would benefit from reflecting on this also.

The three categories of sin

1. Lust of the flesh
2. Lust of the eyes
3. Pride of life

1 John 2:15-17

15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 16 For everything in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. NIV

15-17 Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity. MSG

Here’s a link to purchase the book Every Man’s Battle