Q&A: How do you make sure the things you deem important (whether that's date night, devotions together, or whatever) don't get pushed aside in the busy-ness of life? It has been said that life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. If we get serious about it, the problem with life is that we don’t give it the attention we should. It has also been said that...
How to Get Out of a Marriage Rut Q: I would like to know how to recapture that just-married feeling. I've been married for 6 years now. We seem to be in a rut. A: A few years ago we had some good friends who said they needed to talk to us. They explained that they had been married 3 years and while their marriage was not in trouble, the...
Identify Your Unrealistic Expectations For a Better Marriage Relationships are a balance of expectations and reality. Marriage is no exception to that. In fact, because it is the ultimate relationship, it is probably even more prone to unrealistic expectations than any other. Most of us go into marriage with unrealistic expectations. Think about it, when we get married we think that this is the person that will: Meet my needs...
Q & A What is the best way to support your spouse when they are going through a period of depression? Here are a few major statistics on depression. It is estimated that in the United States, 16.2 million people (6.7%) have at least one massive depression episode in a given year. Depression is a common illness worldwide, with more than 300 million people affected. It is different from usual...
At the core of every person’s thoughts are two very important aspects: self-understanding and self-worth. Every day we tell ourselves hundreds of things about ourselves that are untrue. This talk, called self-talk, is so much more important than we realize. What we tell ourselves about ourselves is paramount to who we are and will become. Here’s the litmus test for who will benefit from the book: if you are breathing,...
I once heard a man replying to a question about why his marriage didn’t last. He said, “We had a difference in theology. I thought I was God and she didn’t.” Our priorities set the guidelines for who we are and who we will be both in our marriage and in all of life. First John 2:15-17 lays out the three categories of sin. They are the lust of the...
Are You Life-Giving? What does it mean to be life-giving? Each of us has a need to be loved, cherished and appreciated. Let’s say that when we receive these things we store them up. Let’s call the reservoir these needs are stored in our love tank. Now we should understand that the love tank is always being drained by the things that happen in life. Maybe stress, work, long hours,...
How to Parent When Your Parenting Styles Differ I’ve always said that the culmination of the love between a husband and wife is having children… and nothing will pull your marriage apart more than a child. We give the best years of our lives to our children. They can take our time, our energy, and drain us of the stamina for intimacy. Kim and I are so glad we had...
We Don’t Share the Same Interests Q & A What attracted me to my wife in the first place was that she was different. As the saying goes, "opposites attract." After being married though, sometimes it is hard to relate and do things together because our interests aren't the same. What was new and fresh is now boring and dull. What would you tell couples who struggle with knowing what...
Why Doesn’t My Spouse Fulfill Me?... AKA How Can I Change My Spouse? When we had been married a few years, Kim noticed I had been grumpy for a few days. On the farm, we had these irrigation systems that were a pain to work with. I hated running them. At lunch one day, Kim told me that she had noticed how I was down and she wondered if that...
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