We Don’t Share the Same Interests

Q & A 

     What attracted me to my wife in the first place was that she was different. As the saying goes, “opposites attract.” After being married though, sometimes it is hard to relate and do things together because our interests aren’t the same. What was new and fresh is now boring and dull. What would you tell couples who struggle with knowing what to do and grow together because they don’t enjoy many of the same hobbies/activities?

You aren’t alone

     We are attracted to people who are different than us.  That’s good because it spices up the relationship, but it leads us to some decisions and compromise.  

Make sure your expectations are inline

     Many times we are unsatisfied because we haven’t examined our expectations to make sure they include both of us.  Do you get more pleasure out of getting your own needs met, or out of seeing your spouse’s needs met? Rearrange your expectations to see that your spouse has fun too!  I have included a link to a blog post about this very thing. Check it out and go into this with the best possible mindset.

Educate yourself

     We’ve attached a link to a worksheet of things to do that will help you to find some common interests.  Print it out and follow the instructions.

Plot a course

    Make plans to do some of the common interest events that you’ve found.  Making plans together creates a sense of anticipation and that can only be a good thing!

     Kim and I didn’t start out with many things in common, but as we learned to flex and fulfill our spouse, we found that we move together on commonalities.  I used to hate chick-flicks. Now we both love them. Kim can go to a woodworking show with me and enjoy herself because she knows I enjoy it, and she finds happiness in seeing me happy.  Plus, we are spending time together. We even enjoy shopping for groceries together because it is time we know we will be together. As we’ve grown and matured through the years, we’ve found that being together is more important than what we are doing.   

Here’s the link to the Activities Worksheet.

Here’s the link to the blog post:  Why Doesn’t My Spouse Fulfill Me?